


Drawn to the blood

by mrwellick



Category: Mr. Robot - Fandom
Genre: Character Analysis, Cute, Fluff, Gay, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Memories, Sad, Sufjan Stevens - Freeform, Too Many Thoughts, change, song inspired fic, story events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 04:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18866032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrwellick/pseuds/mrwellick
Summary: Elliot is God’s lonely man—Fic Inspired by the song Drawn to the blood by Sufjan Stevens





	Drawn to the blood

 

I'm drawn to the blood

The flight of a one-winged dove

How? How did this happen?

How? How did this happen?

 

 

Blood poured from Elliot’s skull. The world seemed very far away. His fathers voice muffled by waves of silence. He couldn’t feel his body. Elliot weakly grinned, looking up at the sky. No tears shed from his fragile cheeks. The sky wasn’t blue. No, the sky was grey. He had lost all color, all sense, all taste. He was devoid of everything. His mother pressed a cigarette to her lips as his father wept.

 

His vision began to drift, someplace unknown and distant. All anxiety vanished as the snow settled on his skin. He could die happy like this. He gazed at the burns on his wrist. However, this time he didn’t grimace. He accepted what he was. Nothing. Every breath he breathed was wasted on a withering vessel.

 

And that’s when something changed in him. The clouds raced across the sky as all color and sound brought him back to life. Whatever that meant. For a moment Elliot could see his future, if only for a mere second. It was dark and lonely. But somewhere in the smog of doubt and death, he saw a fire. A fire growing in his chest. The flames roared and burned. A revolution was forming. And he was the leader. He was going to change the world.

 

The strength of his arm

My lover caught me off guard

How? Head of a rabbit

How? Head of a rabbit

 

 

Big blue eyes bored at Elliot. His hand sliding up Elliot’s body as the blood spilled from his chest. The fire was dying. He was dying. This feeling was so familiar to him. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe but he felt at peace. Tears soaked Elliot’s clothes and face. Why was he crying? Shaky hands caressed Elliot’s frame, he was falling apart.

 

“Please no, not like this.”

 

That voice, filled with so much sorrow and pain. It was like a disease, spreading into Elliot’s veins. The gun laid beside him, the barrel staring him straight in the face. Bloody hands pressed tightly againsthis abdomen. He wanted to laugh. What was the point? Why cry over a withering vessel? Flashes of his father came to mind. They were like vivid nightmares.

 

“Elliot stay with me, oh god oh god-“

 

God. Such a funny thing to mention at a time like this. God has left since my very first gasp. God has never showed me any mercy, any hope, any love. I am god’s lonely man. I am god’s disappointment. So fuck god. Tyrell leaned closer to Elliot’s face. Everything was a blur, but he could still see those miserable blue eyes. God has forsaken Tyrell, so why does he cry for his guidance? Why does he call out his name? Foreign words trail from his tongue. He’s lost. So very lost and alone. Reminds me of someone. His wails only grow louder.

 

“Elliot, please, I need you. I love you.”

 

That’s when everything changed. His heart began pumping, his fingers began twitching. His eyes fluttered open. The fire in him died. But he knew it will come back. It always does.

 

For my prayer has always been love

What did I do to deserve this?

 

Elliot laid wide awake. He hasn’t slept in over forty eight hours ten minutes and twenty seconds. He’s really losing his mind. A figure lingers in the corner. Elliot eyes him after turning and staring out the window.

 

“Can’t sleep kiddo?”

 

Not now. Anytime but just not now. The sheets were cold and wrinkled. They smelled like dog and spoiled food. Elliot should really wash them. A weight sat on the edge of his bed. He glared at Mr. Robot.

 

“Just leave me alone.”

 

He only scuffed at Elliot. Scumbag. It was two thirty in the morning. He really needed sleep. If only Mr. Robot could leave him alone. He began to cry. Fuck anytime but not now. Elliot didn’t like showing his vulnerable side, especially to Mr. Robot.

 

The tears only kept falling and falling. Mr. Robot held his breath. He removed his cap. He moved closer to Elliot. Elliot scrunched his face and hid beneath the gross sheets.

 

“If you truly wanted to be alone, then I wouldn’t be here now would I?”

 

Elliot’s heart shook. He was right. And it hurt so much knowing he was right. He’s the other half of me. Mr. Robot slowly but hesitantly, gripped Elliot’s hand. His breath hitched, the physical contact tingling his palm.

 

“This world is a lonely place Elliot. It always has been and always will be. But you are something this world has never seen. You are not like the rest. You are not alone.”

 

Was he dreaming? Did Mr. Robot really mean that? Is he using this to his advantage?

 

“Stop thinking so much kiddo. I can hear your thoughts ya know.”

 

Fuck. Elliot felt his body grip his hand back. What is happening? All of a sudden he could feel everything. Every emotion known to man. He felt it beat in his body. He was terrified. His actions were clumsy and quick. In a blink his lips were pressed to Mr. Robots. Lighting flashed outside, causing Elliot to pull back. Elliot never saw Mr. Robot so peaceful.

 

“Why can’t it always be like this?”

 

Elliot shuddered. Mr. Robot only grinned, moving closer to Elliot’s growing warmth.

 

“It can be. If only you can let yourself believe it.”

 

Elliot’s mind raced. I didn’t want this? All the hate I received from Mr. Robot, it was because of me? It was hatred I faced towards myself. Mr. Robot was the bottle to everything I kept inside of me, but now he was free and growing thin.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Mr. Robot unraveled the sheets and climbed in beside Elliot. Panic filled Elliot’s mind, but soon was disputed. His eyes roamed everywhere as a hand was placed on his shoulder. Mr. Robots face growing closer.

 

“That you can be loved.”

 

Chaste kisses were pressed along Elliot’s bare skin. He shivered but allowed Mr. Robots touch. It felt like nothing he has felt before. What was it? It was stronger than love. Love you would have for another person. It was like Mr. Robot was teaching him to love himself. No. How could he? I’m damaged, bruised, broken.

 

“Elliot stop- just stop thinking for once.”

 

They locked eyes. He did. Elliot cleared his thoughts. He was all Mr. Robots. His hands cupped Elliot’s face, pressing more soft kisses. It felt like his body was on fire. But it was a different kind of fire then what he has experienced before.

 

As fire to the sun

Tell me what I have done

How? Heart of a dragon

How? Heart of a dragon

 

Sirens blared through the crowded streets. Every face was twisted and torn. The TV reflected in Elliot’s eyes. The flames grew and grew. All those innocent people. Elliot lowered his head and cried. He cried like he never has before. What had he done? It was all his fault. His hands shook as his palms grew higher. He could see it. Red. His hands were scarred and ripped. Blood covered his fingers to his arms. Elliot knew he couldn’t wash it away.

 

This burden engraved in his head. He could never erase it. Till the day he breathed his last breath, he will never forget this day. The dark army will pay for this. They will not go unharmed. Men, women, and children sobbed and sobbed. Elliot walked the streets, everything was changing. He knew what to do. What he had to do. Whiterose will know what true pain is.

 

For my prayer has always been love

What did I do to deserve this now?

How did this happen?

 

 

Even with a gun pressed to Elliot’s head he wasn’t afraid. He looked back at Darlene, tears running down her pale cheeks. His lip began to quiver. All he wanted was to protect her. To protect the innocent. He had failed in both plans. He was going to save the world. Fuck. He just made it worse. If that was even possible. Mr. Robot stood by his side, he’d never leave him. Not now not ever.

 

Some days Elliot wondered about Tyrell. He dreamt of the words he spoke and if he really meant them. Elliot wanted to believe them. He wanted Tyrell to love him. He wanted Mr. Robot to love him. He wanted so much, Elliot laughed at himself. His blood would soon be splattered against the barn walls and dirt floors.

 

He embraced it. He was no longer afraid of death. The storm going on inside Elliot’s head was much worse than any pain imaginable. The gun banged and banged. Although Elliot felt nothing. No pain, no fear, no infinite darkness. Bodies fell before him as Leon stood with his gun raised. Elliot could see it smoking, even if no one else did. He touched his face and chest. He was still all there. Blood was splattered but it wasn’t his own.

 

It wasn’t his. He wasn’t going to die. At least not today. Elliot wasn’t happy nor sad. He was still himself, the most terrifying thought. He still felt nothing. Darlene was frozen in shock as Mr. Robot rubbed Elliot’s shoulder.

 

“You can’t give up yet kiddo, there is still much left to undo.”

 

Undo? That’s right- all the mistakes Elliot has made along the way. He needs to set things right. He was unsure of what the future had in store for him. But he wasn’t scared, as he locked eyes with Leon, knowing what was coming next.

 

He would follow orders, only for now though. The future was vivid. But Elliot couldn’t see it, as bright as it was he couldn’t see it.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry I literally pulled this out of my ass


End file.
